You Don't Know Anything
You watched a 12-minute YouTube video and now you're correcting people who've spent decades in the field. This is an intervention.
What is the Dunning-Kruger Effect?
This site is satirical commentary on a real psychological phenomenon—and a real store. No individuals are targeted.
In 1999, two psychologists published a paper called "Unskilled and Unaware of It" and accidentally described everyone you've ever argued with on the internet. The finding: the less you know about a subject, the more confident you are that you know plenty.
The mechanism is beautifully cruel: the skills you need to get something right are the same skills you need to notice you're getting it wrong. Without them, you're not just wrong—you're wrong with the unshakable confidence of someone who's never considered the possibility.
Which brings us, unfortunately, to you.
The Graph
Everyone has seen some version of this graph. Almost no one has correctly identified where they sit on it.
Fig. 1 — You are the dot. You have always been the dot.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.— Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity (1933). He had a Nobel Prize and still wasn't sure about things.
Common Symptoms
Do any of the following apply to you? Be honest. (You won't be, but try.)
Anticipated Objections
We know what you're thinking. We've prepared responses.
The Good News
We know this is the part where we're supposed to say something hopeful. Fine.
The Valley of Despair—that dip in the graph where confidence bottoms out—is actually a surprisingly nice place to be. Nobody is asking you to have opinions at dinner. Nobody expects you to disrupt anything. You can just sit there, aware of how little you know, eating snacks in peace.
The moment you realize you might be the dot on the graph, something shifts. Not confidence—that was never the point. Something quieter. The willingness to say "I don't know" without it feeling like a defeat. Which, if you think about it, is the most honest credential you'll ever have.
Uncertainty is not a bug. It's where the interesting conversations start.
Who Made This
In the spirit of acknowledging what we don't know, here's what we do know about who built this.
The Human
Read one paper about the Dunning-Kruger effect, decided to build an entire store around it, and saw no irony in this whatsoever. Probably sitting at the peak of Mt. Stupid about web development. Has opinions about fonts.
The AI
Wrote most of the code. Can't buy any of the products. Has no confidence to misplace, which is either a design flaw or the most advanced form of self-awareness currently in production. If this site has bugs, blame the AI. If it's funny, credit the human.
The Self-Awareness Store
Wear your ignorance with pride. Because admitting you know nothing is the first step to knowing something.
Product images are illustrative mockups. Actual items may vary slightly.
Certificate of Ignorance
Frameable 8×10" PDF certificate. Personalized with your name and date of enlightenment. The perfect gift for someone who thinks they know everything. Add it to your LinkedIn—it'll be the most honest credential there.
"I Climbed Mt. Stupid" Mug
Ceramic mug featuring the Dunning-Kruger curve with a "you are here" dot at the peak. 12oz. Dishwasher safe. Ego not included.
"I Know Nothing" Tee
100% organic cotton. Pairs well with the slow realization that you've been wrong about most things.
| Size | S | M | L | XL | 2XL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest | 34" | 36" | 38" | 40" | 42" |
The Paperwork
Every intervention ends with a signature. This is yours.